heidiplayboy812.jpg So Hills star Heidi Montag is on the cover of Playboy, and not only did she get dirty for her photo spread, but she also spewed a whole lot of garbage in the accompanying article!

Hubby Spencer Pratt interviewed the reality TV starlet, and they discuss their sex life, how Heidi wants bigger implants, and why being famous for nothing is the best career ever.

Highlights from the interview?

    Heidi: Some things are private. Our sex life is private.

    Spencer: I totally 100 percent disagree. Privacy doesn’t exist, which is why I love my life. I love that we live every waking moment for everyone to see.

    Heidi: You know, I was never very sexual before I met you, Spencer. I knew what sex was, but when I met you I entered into a whole new realm of understanding, from fantasy to love. Or to experience a day with 20 or 30 orgasms.


Wait, so if your sex life is private, then why did you just give us that disgusting little detail?! Come on now!

    Spencer: And what about all those bozos talking shit about you - the Chelsea Handlers of the world. Is that ever hard for you?

    Heidi: I just roll my eyes and move on. First of all, it’s so much fun that people know who I am and actually care enough to talk. I’m turning 23, from a tiny town in Colorado. This is exciting for me. We love the Soup guy [Joel McHale]. God bless him, he’s making us famous. As for other women, if they aren’t hating on you, then you’re not doing anything right. If women aren’t jealous of you, talking about you and cutting you down, then you’re the nerd, and I would never want to be that.


Oooh, do NOT take a swipe at Chelsea honey! And this is even more disturbing:

    Heidi: ...I honestly believe God didn’t invent our bodies for us to be ashamed of them. The body is a beautiful creation. If anything, the reason I didn’t show everything is because I plan to get a few more upgrades.

    Spencer: Don’t do it for me, Heidi. I think you have the best custom-made breasts in the world right now. I don’t need you to make any changes. I’m already driving a Bugatti every day.

    Heidi: Well, I’m sure as I get older I’ll need some touch-ups. I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest. I think I want to go bigger on my boobs for you.

    Spencer: Awesome. How big?

    Heidi: Triple X.

    Spencer: Cool! So maybe I can interview you again for Playboy once that’s done, when you do the full reveal.

    Heidi: Great idea. Let’s do this again when I get the upgrades.


UGH! Does Heidi really need bigger boobs?!