Nathaniel Wood/NY Times

This is probably the most asinine interview we've ever read, and while we're trying to remind ourselves that these are two teenagers attempting to share the wisdom they've gleaned in their short lives, it still doesn't make it much better.

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's kids, Willow, 14, and Jaden, 16, are profiled in a new article in the New York Times, and while the publication doesn't straight up make fun of them, the quotes in the piece speak for themselves.

The two started off the interview by revealing that they are reading quantum physics and ancient texts, and they then jumped into their music and how fame affected them at an early age. "Honestly, we’re just trying to make music that we think is cool," Jaden eloquently states. "We don’t think a lot of the music out there is that cool. So we make our own music."

Willow added, "That’s what I do with novels. There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing." The two talk about collaborating ("Me and Jaden just figured out that our voices sound like chocolate together. As good as chocolate tastes, it sounds that good," Willow says), and they also discuss how art is about "shocking people."

And not only do these two have a majorly inflated sense of self, but they weigh in on why they think school is totally pointless. The two used to attend the New Village Leadership Academy, which focused on nontraditional methods of education used in Scientology, but they haven't been in a formal classroom environment for years. Willow has been home-schooled since she was 12, and Jaden dropped out prior to that.

According to Jaden:
    "Here’s the deal: School is not authentic because it ends. It’s not true, it’s not real. Our learning will never end. The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to…Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty. You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out."

Willow added, "They never want to do anything, they’re so tired ... I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, 'Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.' But it was the worst experience because I was depressed."

"I have a goal to be just the most craziest person of all time," Jaden proclaims. "And when I say craziest, I mean, like, I want to do like Olympic-level things. I want to be the most durable person on the planet." He's off to a great start, because at this point he's making Amanda Bynes seem totally sane...