We can't even believe these are the stories we're covering about a man that's about to be President of the United States... don't go, Obama!

A bombshell report that Russia has extensive blackmail information on Donald Trump was published by Buzzfeed last night, and the site claims both Obama and Trump were briefed on the allegations by intelligence officers in a two page synopsis. The President-elect held a press conference this morning and addressed the report, calling it total BS and "fake news." He also denied he was ever briefed on the situation.

In the unverified 32-page dossier, Trump is accused of having deep ties to Russian officials, in addition to accepting intelligence information from them. The document states the incoming POTUS accepted political intelligence from the Kremlin, and says there "was a continuing exchange of information during the campaign between Trump surrogates and intermediaries for the Russian government.”

The most damning info? A specific incident involving prostitutes and golden showers! In case you didn't know, a "golden shower" is a sex fetish involving urination.

"According to source D, where s/he had been present, Trump's (perverted) conduct in Moscow included hiring the presidential suite of the Ritz-Carlton hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. OBAMA (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia, and defiling the bed where they had slept by employing a number of prostitutes to perform a 'golden showers' (urination) show in front of him," a part of the document discloses.

Not true, says the Orange One.

"Does anyone believe that story? I'm also very much of a germophobe by the way. It's all fake news. It's phony stuff. It didn't happen. And it was gotten by opponents of ours. Sick people – and they put that c**p together," he told the group of reporters gathered at Trump Tower this morning.

We don't even know what to say anymore...