Let's revist these pix ... just how low do you think Lindsay could go with that? -- the deep knee bend, I mean ...

1) John Mayer's cuter than I thought (but it ruins it when I picture his contorted singing face)
2) It's kinda cute that he shops at Pottery Barn
3) It's definitely cute that he drives a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S
4) What the hell kinda couple are he and Jessica Simpson? The just don't match!

Check out the ad we just found tucked away in the back of Celebrity Romance Weekly - sound like anyone you know?

Rich single mother seeking SWM for late-night chats and pharmacy trips. Must love children, Taco Bell, and X17. Enthusiasm for wigs a major plus. Turn-offs include panties, rap music, and animal-rights activists. Threesomes a definite possibility!

You think Brandon's a match? We just dug up this clip of the couple having an intimate chat outside a house party in the Hills last Friday night.

With all the high-octane tabloid-worthy activity certain celebrities have been up to lately, it's nice to see a couple just being plain ol' boring - like Halle Berry and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry, who we spotted simply walking and talking in Hollywood. We couldn't get close enough to hear the subject of their conversation, but we're guessing it had something to do with Halle's humongous sweater!

Ever notice how all the popular kids travel in packs? With Paris back with Nicole, and Britney hanging w/Brandon, Lindsay's been often left to her own devices. (Ok, the girl's never really alone, but does dragging your mother around to the clubs with you really count?) Lindsay showed up without the A-List to Guy's on Tuesday night and then again to the house party last night! It might just be a good thing for Lindsay to distance herself from all the other starlets, maybe she can stay out of trouble for at least 24 hours!

Throwing her private parts all over the place, feuding and then quickly reuniting with Lindsay Lohan, laughing at all of Brandon Davis' jokes - with every passing day, Britney Spears' behavior gets more and more Parisian! Heck, at this rate the student's going to surpass the master soon enough - we just turned up these photos of Britney on the patio at Teddy's with a cigarette in one hand and a drink in another! (But she might want to start emulating Paris' sense of self-control when the media's around - after all, Paris may have her vices, but think about how rarely anyone's cameras catch her with a cigarette in her hand!)

Paris was spray-tanned, glittered, and pushed-up (check out that cleave!) last night for a late-night rendez-vous at the Grove with Stavros (she met up with him after saying goodbye to Nicole). I dunno about you, but in the 8th grade, wearing a boy's picture in a locket around your neck meant a serious commitment - or at least that the two of you were "going together"! Have the two given up drunken hook-ups with random people and agreed only to drunkenly hook-up with each other?

Looks like Entourage star/ex-Hilton-boyfriend Kevin Connolly's got a type - we spotted him leaving the club Tuesday night with a flaxen-haired friend! Of course, as soon as he spotted us spotting him, he went into damage-control mode - our photographer reported that the couple dropped a loud, exasperated s-bomb and put some distance between themselves!