Charlie Sheen Addresses Custody Battle, Jokes About Running For President

After a Los Angeles judge denied Charlie Sheen's request for full custody of his 2-year-old twins Bob and Max, the embattled actor headed to Washington D.C. for his Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option tour and ripped everyone from President Obama to Sarah Palin.

"Hope you had a better f*cking day than I did," Sheen told the audience. "That's all right. My day became perfect thanks to you people." In between being heckled by audience members and cracking jokes about former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, Sheen mixed his bad legal news with the controversy surrounding President Obama's birth certificate.

"For starters, I was f*cking born here, how about that? And I got proof! Nothing photoshopped about my birth certificate." But would he actually run for the oval office? "[It's] something I'd have to consider because I don't know how a custody fight would work with half a f*cking first family."

Uh, OK...