Does A Bad Bank Account Lead To A Bad Relationship?
Posted on Mon May 17, 2010 09:09 PM PDT
There have been reports of notable stars having financial worries. Nicolas Cage, Pamela Anderson, and Eve come to mind. Supposedly they all owe Uncle Sam big time. How might this impact them and their personal relationships?
Couples should change their mindset and recognize it’s not 1950 – the paradigm has shifted. Problems in relationships are increasingly prevalent in this bad economy and I’m seeing them more and more in my practice. Hollywood is no exception.
Couples who would ordinarily separate are now staying together because they either they can’t afford to move or they can't afford to hire a divorce attorney. Given this forced cohabitation they sometimes reconcile and actually work on improving their relationships but for others, it’s a recipe for disaster.
It’s particularly problematic for celebrities and performers to handle financial problems when their public image comes into play. Maintaining the illusion that both members of the couple are hard-working and successful becomes difficult and issues of jealousy arise as one continues to thrive and the other falls. When one person feels the other isn’t pulling his/her weight, the impact on the relationship is profound.
I hear frequently: “He’s not the man I thought he was” or “When I met her she was so ambitious.” Rarely is it lack of love that brings couples into therapy but rather unmet expectations. An unhealthy dynamic unfolds -- one person nags the other about finances rather than being supportive and encouraging, resulting in that person being seen as the pain-in-the butt mother or disciplinarian father which leads to serious trouble, especially in the bedroom.
Another factor, particularly with male Hollywood stars is the high, if not even unreasonable, standard they might impose on themselves. Failure to land gigs can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The resulting wounded ego and be detrimental to the relationship.