Hollywood Breakdown

What’s your take on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt? Do you think it’s a problem that they met on a reality show? Is that a healthy way to start a relationship? They seem to have both gone off the deep end since their first show. What’s going on with reality stars and romance?

Even in real life it's hard to find true love in just a few months. Throw into the mix cameras, directors, producers, and the pressure of having your life broadcast to millions and the odds are stacked even higher yet Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did it…sort of. What you have with these reality shows, whether it’s The Bachelor, Real World, or any of the countless others, is pseudo love jacked up for the cameras. In a short time Heidi and Spenser met, got to know each other, fell in love, and married, all while under the watchful eyes of producers, directors, and millions of viewers. Getting married just because of public pressure is never a good idea. In the public eye or not, I never advice clients to rush to marriage, but rather, get to know each other, nurture a loving relationship, and make certain they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Of course we have no way of knowing if this occurred with Heidi and Spencer, but given the ever-changing status of their relationship, one can surmise it didn’t.

Post –reality TV brings real life and a whole different world than the staged one. Once the glitz and glamour of Hollywood fades and there are no fancy dinners and trips, staged dates, and admiration from fans, then potentially financial struggles may arise, communication issues set in, and intimacy problems could follow - all providing a hot bed for a strained relationship.

Further, there's an exhibitionist element in people who go on reality shows - take that away and one might feel aimless, depressed, and without a strong sense of self. Perhaps Heidi’s multiple plastic surgeries and Spencer’s foray into crystals and guns offer a glimpse into this phenomenon. However you look at it, it’s not good for the relationship.

Why do so many celebrities make sex tapes? Do they not think about how it may impact them later on? Seems it’s all the rage - everyone from Kim Kardashian to Kendra Wilkinson to Paris Hilton, and now even Heidi Montag. What’s your take?

Sex tapes are commonplace in the US – from small town America to the glitz of Hollywood. People love the attention and want to feel special. Throw a camera on yourself and suddenly you’re feel like a superstar, eh, porn star. The only difference between the couple next door and Paris Hilton is a few million dollars. Frankly the public has become desensitized to things once considered taboo. Let’s face it, if a president can come out of a sexual scandal unscathed, then surely a celebrity can put his or her sexual escapades out there for public consumption (and we buy it!).

So, as for the driving force…

• Actors and actresses are narcissistic and attention-seeking and might think “If I enjoy myself so much than surely the world will too.”
• Sex sells, therefore its good publicity. My most popular No More Drama advice columns are about sex; sexual scandals get huge media coverage; and Viagra is a huge seller. In some cases sex tapes have catapulted one's career. Seemed to work for Paris Hilton.
• Surprise! Young actors and actresses are impressionable and might lack confidence, thus use sex to advance their careers.
• Celebrities feel invincible and as though they’re impervious to societal backlash, as a result, there’s no consideration of consequences.

So the question is ... does a sex tape help a celebrity in terms of increasing their, uh, "exposure," or can a sex tape kill a career?