http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/ en Copyright 2011 Tue, 31 May 2011 22:13:00 -0800 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss What is up with all these powerful men acting like complete idiots? The news of Arnold Schwarzenegger having a love child and the alleged rape by Dominique Strauss-Kahn have me wondering if there’s a connection to people being in a position of power and committing such acts. Please explain. People sometimes erroneously believe that celebrities, politicians, and others in a position of power and influence aren’t susceptible to the same problems that plague the average Joe. In fact, the famous are not immune from the ills of society. Given certain personality traits and circumstances, they might be even more likely to commit such acts (surprise!). We’ve seen it time and time again. Former Senator Edwards, Rudolph Giuliani, Eliot Spitzer…and the long and very public list goes on and on. Think about the traits that drive someone like the Governator and Dominque Strauss-Kahn to their positions: Type-A personalities, alpha-male, aggressive, and with Schwarzenegger, a huge ego to match his steroid-fueled biceps. In the case of politicians, you have people who take a risk, often are thrill-seekers, and are adrenalin junkies who thrive on the rush and excitement of being the center of attention. The larger-than-life ego, grand sense of entitlement, and narcissism that run amok are fertile grounds for trouble. Throw into the mix the strain that being in the political spotlight can have on the marriage as well as marital trouble that often comes with a busy lifestyle and being away from the spouse for extended periods of time and you have trouble waiting to happen. Finally, I’d be amiss not to mention the powerful aphrodisiac that comes from being in a high political position or being a celebrity. Stardom is seductive and people might gravitate towards such figures. Unconsciously, or even consciously, people might feel that to be with someone wealthy and successful provides security. In the case of Monica and Bill, and perhaps Arnold’s housekeeper, there was probably a level of attraction based purely on the superstar status. Groupies abound and aren’t limited to just the music scene. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2011/05/why_do_powerful_men_mess_up.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2011/05/why_do_powerful_men_mess_up.php Arnold Schwarzenegger Arnold Schwarzenegger Dominique Strauss-Kahn love child male men power rape Tue, 31 May 2011 22:13:00 -0800 What's your take on Charlie Sheen and why the public seems fascinated with him? And why did someone like Brooke fall for a guy like him? Far be it for me to diagnose remotely, but Sheen's recent public display invites commentary from arm chair psychotherapists and real-life ones alike. Without knowing his baseline behavior it's difficult to know exactly what's going on with him. On the surface though, there's a reason for concern: His mental state seems elated and is characterized by euphoria and lowered inhibitions. He's quite talkative, has talked about risk-taking behavior, thoughts seem racing, and he looks a bit haggard - suggesting he probably hasn't slept much. Something is going on, and let's just hope that Sheen can soon can get better help than what's he received at "Sober Valley Lodge" and from his Goddesses. As for the public fascination...People are celebrity obsessed. We look to Hollywood stars to be our heroes and our role models, and with that comes an intrigue and fascination when we see they aren't immune from the ills of society such as drugs, treacherous relationships, and mental health issues. We love a come-back story whether it's Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen or any other star. We want to see them at some point rise up and do what they do so well: act. As for Brooke Mueller being attracted to the bad boy image, well, she likes it as long as the behaviors aren't directed at her. The moment they are, forget it, all bets are off. The very things she probably admired in Charlie (the rough and tough bad boy, life in the fast lane, with the take no BS attitude) is the very thing she hated in him later. Quite a conflict. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2011/03/whats_up_with_charlie_sheen.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2011/03/whats_up_with_charlie_sheen.php Charlie Sheen Brooke Mueller Charlie Sheen Mon, 07 Mar 2011 22:16:46 -0800 During the Golden Globes telecast, host Ricky Gervais drew gasps when he joked about “some Scientologists” being gay men pretending to be straight. When The Advocate recently asked Carrie Fisher whether John Travolta had legal reason to demand Gawker remove a post suggesting he's gay, she said, "Wow! I mean, my feeling about John has always been that we know and we don't care. Look, I'm sorry that he's uncomfortable with it, and that's all I can say.” As a psychotherapist in Manhattan I see lots of men who are living straight lives, with the exception of course of their secret gay sexual activities. Similar to Hollywood stars these clients are in professions where it's extremely difficult to be gay, i.e. finance, firemen, police, and law. They become very skilled at balancing a secret life with a public life -- to the point where they marry simply to fit into mainstream or date super-model types and then on the side carry out private and fiery affairs with men. My goal as therapist is to help them come out and be comfortable with who they are and stop living a secret life which ultimately hurts them and the person who they're dating. I had the opportunity to speak with Kiri Blakeley, former Forbes celebrity reporter, who had her own Brokeback Mountain moment when she found out her fiance, and boyfriend of ten years, was secretly gay and had long been having affairs with men. That is the subject of her recent book, Can’t Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love. JA: As a celebrity reporter, did you run across rumors of gay men in Hollywood who are pretending to be straight? KB: All of the time. It’s the same few people over and over that you hear about. I’m not sure the frequency of the rumors makes them any more reliable, but when you hear something a bunch of times about one person, and nothing about another person, it makes you wonder. JA: What is the strangest rumor you’ve heard? KB: I did hear that a very famous celebrity—who shall remain nameless—and who is married to another very famous celebrity—who shall remain nameless—actually has a contract with that woman to be his wife, while she knows he is really gay. Supposedly he offered the contract to a few famous women in Hollywood, and this one took him up on it. JA: Why would a woman agree to be a gay man’s wife? KB: In this particular case, the man is extremely wealthy and famous, and her career has skyrocketed as a result of being married to him. Maybe I’d take that deal. At least, unlike me, she knew what she was getting into. Nor did I get any money or fame in return! JA: It’s probably difficult to be gay in Hollywood. For a leading man, it would be hard for an audience to identify with a gay one kissing women on screen. Leading men have to be sex symbols to female fans. KB: Yes, this goes back to Rock Hudson and Montgomery Clift and James Dean and it’s not much better now. Leading men just don’t come out. Neither do leading ladies—though it seems a bit easier if you have your own talk show, like Ellen DeGeneres. But there is a well-known TV journalist who has refused to discuss his sexuality in the press because he has said that he needs to travel all over the world and fit into many different cultures, and his sexuality can’t be an issue. It seems to be a bit easier for rock stars, for they can at least admit they are bisexual, which adds to their aura. JA: Your ex-fiance was a musician. Did this have anything to do with him being closeted? KB: I think it is difficult to come out in any industry. My fiance was a musician who worked in an artistic industry and lived in New York City. He didn’t come out until 2006, and he didn’t grow up religious. If anyone could have felt comfortable coming out, it could have been him, but he was still tortured and conflicted. Unfortunately, women like me pay the price. Five years later, I still have a lot of anger, sadness and frustration about the lie I lived with. And I still have major trust issues, considering I lived with a man for ten years and had zero idea he was cheating on me with men. But I’m working on it, and he and I still speak. JA: Will it ever be easier for gay men to come out in Hollywood? KB: It’s sort of ironic that Hollywood is such a liberal and tolerant place and yet it is so difficult for gays and lesbians to be open there—but that is generally because of the career ramifications, not the social ones. That probably makes it even easier to live a double life, because one is very private, while the other is very public. I don’t see it changing any time soon. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2011/01/gay_men_in_heterosexual_relati_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2011/01/gay_men_in_heterosexual_relati_1.php Wed, 26 Jan 2011 22:22:06 -0800 What are the traits that set apart highly successful people from those who are just mediocre in what they achieve? I often meet highly-successful people in my practice. Many are big-name entertainers and business visionaries – and all share a commonality: reaching out for help and not being ashamed to do so. These people are truly inspiring and have similar attributes that drive their success. To guide you, here are some traits that will make you stand out:

• Have a clear vision of what you want and think what’s possible. Maintain high standards in your pursuit.
• Ask “why not” and see obstacles as challenges, not deterrents, as you creatively overcome them.
• Choose to be different, even if it’s unpopular. Thinking uniquely will lead to exceptional outcomes, while doing things as others do will result in more of the same.
• Work really hard and focus on what you can control, not what’s beyond it. Make sure you have a plan, stick to a schedule, and maintain diligence and determination.
• Be proactive and take initiative rather than waiting for things to happen. Had Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg been passive the world might not have Microsoft and Facebook!
• Defy the norm, be curious, and don’t accept the status quo. If you’re striving for better than what exists, then think and dream big. It certainly worked for a junior senator from Illinois named Barack and a once homeless and unknown British writer named J.K Rowling.
• Surround yourself with supportive and positive people. Success breeds success. If you mingle with losers, you won’t go far, but if you surround yourself with optimistic people who are successful then you will be too.
• Sell yourself. A strong belief in who you are and what you do can lead you to become a brand in itself. It worked for Oprah and Jay-Z. They both built empires around their names.
• Finally, enjoy what you do and be passionate about it.

]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/09/what_makes_successful_people_s.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/09/what_makes_successful_people_s.php Tue, 21 Sep 2010 13:03:21 -0800 Why the heck does Paris Hilton continue to get into trouble? What makes her think she can still get away with her bad behavior even after she got caught years ago and even served time in jail? There are a few reasons Paris continues to get into trouble. 1. Intelligence - or lack thereof. Without ever having met Paris it’s hard for me to comment too extensively on her intelligence but one can safely surmise that perhaps it’s lacking. Seriously, having just a modicum of intelligence would be enough to prevent someone from being so carefree when it comes to drugs…but not Paris. 2. Her super-rich and grand celebrity status likely comes into play as she feels she is immune from, and even above the law. People have always been there to cover her butt and rescue her – a product of the riches and sense of entitlement. There doesn’t seem to be any sign of the rich enablers leaving her. 3. Just as she finds a way to get into trouble, she finds a way out with just minor consequences. Not until they are more severe will behavior begin to change. 4. There’s a biological factor. Drugs target the reward system in the brain, flooding it with Dopamine, a neurotransmitter that controls emotion, motivation, and pleasure among other things. This produces a euphoric effect and sets up a system that in essence teaches the user to seek more and more. Will this last run-in with the law be the last for Paris? Unlikely ... ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/08/why_is_paris_always_getting_in.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/08/why_is_paris_always_getting_in.php Paris Hilton arrest cocaine drugs Las Vegas Paris Hilton Tue, 31 Aug 2010 07:28:57 -0800 Why do so many celebrities make sex tapes? Do they not think about how it may impact them later on? Seems it’s all the rage - everyone from Kim Kardashian to Kendra Wilkinson to Paris Hilton, and now even Heidi Montag. What’s your take? Sex tapes are commonplace in the US – from small town America to the glitz of Hollywood. People love the attention and want to feel special. Throw a camera on yourself and suddenly you’re feel like a superstar, eh, porn star. The only difference between the couple next door and Paris Hilton is a few million dollars. Frankly the public has become desensitized to things once considered taboo. Let’s face it, if a president can come out of a sexual scandal unscathed, then surely a celebrity can put his or her sexual escapades out there for public consumption (and we buy it!). So, as for the driving force…

• Actors and actresses are narcissistic and attention-seeking and might think “If I enjoy myself so much than surely the world will too.”
• Sex sells, therefore its good publicity. My most popular No More Drama advice columns are about sex; sexual scandals get huge media coverage; and Viagra is a huge seller. In some cases sex tapes have catapulted one's career. Seemed to work for Paris Hilton.
• Surprise! Young actors and actresses are impressionable and might lack confidence, thus use sex to advance their careers.
• Celebrities feel invincible and as though they’re impervious to societal backlash, as a result, there’s no consideration of consequences.

So the question is ... does a sex tape help a celebrity in terms of increasing their, uh, "exposure," or can a sex tape kill a career? ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/08/why_do_celebrities_make_sex_ta_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/08/why_do_celebrities_make_sex_ta_1.php Heidi Montag Heidi Montag Kim Kardashian Paris Hilton scandal sex tape Spencer Pratt Sat, 28 Aug 2010 20:41:52 -0800 Why do people seem so fascinated with celebrities? It seems like people love them and hate them. Can you please explain? Fascination with celebrity is rooted deep in our history and psyche and in many respects is a sociological phenomenon. Case in point: during the cavemen days, the strongest were looked up to for direction and leadership; spiritual leaders have been deified; and modern day celebrities are worshiped. In today’s world the media is saturated by all things celebrity to the point where we know every move they’re making. It has become a part of the fabric of our culture and is almost inescapable. People look towards celebrity for several reasons. For one, they are a good conversation piece and are helpful in our socializing. Another reason is admiration. Let’s face it, they have highly desirable qualities that most people want: they’re rich, attractive and successful. There’s nothing wrong with looking at these celebrities and wanting to possess some of their qualities. In that respect they are healthy motivators. The problem though arises when we spend more time thinking about their lives than our own. Interest in celebrity shouldn’t be a substitution for real life but rather a fleeting distraction. I’ve had several clients whose starstruck obsessions distracted them from their own lives to the point where their jobs and relationships suffered. There’s usually some type of underlying social problem, anxiety, or depression with these obsessed fans. Just as we may admire celebrities, we may also derive satisfaction from seeing them fall. We hold them to such an exceedingly high standard and expect them to be flawless, so in a way we set them up for failure. This is one way to normalize them and see that they are “just like us.” Perhaps these feelings are driven by envy, but regardless this knocks them off their pedestal, making them life-like and providing for a come-back story that America loves so much. Lindsay Lohan’s is in the making right now. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/08/celebrity_fascination_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/08/celebrity_fascination_1.php Lindsay Lohan celebrity Lindsay Lohan obsession Fri, 13 Aug 2010 06:09:58 -0800 What we’re seeing play out between Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva happens everyday in America countless times over. Screaming, cursing, punching, knocking teeth out…well, maybe not the last thing, but sure, nasty fighting with passions running wild when child custody is at stake. Throw into the mix an A-list celebrity and his Russian beauty and you have high drama and gripping headlines. Just because Mel Gibson is famous doesn’t mean he’s immune from the tragedies of relationships. The recently released audio is glaring evidence of that. By no means is Oksana to blame for the tirade, but if indeed she felt so threatened then why stay on the telephone? People in these types of situations who feel scared are not as composed, controlled, and strategic as Oksana, but rather panicked and the usual response is to flee the situation. This of course begs the question of her intent but for that I’ll defer to the legal experts. That said, I would urge folks not to rush to judgment on the relationship that was once Mel and Oksana and the aftermath we’re now privy to. Sure, Mel has said some questionable things that would lead many to believe he’s a bigot and anti-Semite, and he has a flair for the dramatic, but I must say, as a couples therapist, the public never truly knows what goes on behind closed doors. So what might Mel’s words reveal about him? Let’s take a look at some of his now infamous quotes: "I stand up for myself! You, you weak c—t, you call the f—king cops!" He dismisses her involving the authorities. Perhaps he thinks he’s immune or above the law, given his celebrity status. "You don’t have any f—king friends except me!" He wants to play hero. And he might be projecting his loneliness or isolation onto her. "I’ll put you in a f—king rose garden…I’m capable of it." His laughter when he says this might suggest he derives pleasure from inflicting pain – an indicator of narcissism and a grand sense of entitlement. "You need a bat in the side of the head…selfish b*tch." He’s displacing onto her his great frustration in the form of anger. He’s resorting to a barbaric approach to problem solving and is truly unhinged.]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/07/whats_up_with_mel_gibson_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/07/whats_up_with_mel_gibson_1.php Mel Gibson audiotapes fighting Mel Gibson Oksana Grigorieva tapes threats Thu, 22 Jul 2010 10:27:13 -0800 So now that Lindsay Lohan is due to go to jail for 90 days; what might be going through her head? Lindsay is likely mourning the impending loss of freedom and going through various phases as she comes to terms with what lies ahead. For starters there’s likely great denial. “This can’t be happening to me.” “I’m a superstar – there’s no way I’m going to jail.” Next she might be feeling anger, especially toward the judge and toward "the system." The creative artwork on her middle finger is evidence of that. Then she’ll start to bargain with herself. She might think things such as, “Please let me get through this and I’ll never drink again.” Next depression, hopelessness, frustration, and self-pity set in. This phase, however, leads to a great opportunity for growth as she’ll eventually (hopefully) come to accept where she is and it will serve as a motivator to make changes in her life. A really good therapist can help to facilitate this process as well. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/07/lindsays_going_to_jail_what_ne.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/07/lindsays_going_to_jail_what_ne.php Lindsay Lohan depression jail Lindsay Lohan Tue, 13 Jul 2010 23:52:55 -0800 What’s your take on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt? Do you think it’s a problem that they met on a reality show? Is that a healthy way to start a relationship? They seem to have both gone off the deep end since their first show. What’s going on with reality stars and romance? Even in real life it's hard to find true love in just a few months. Throw into the mix cameras, directors, producers, and the pressure of having your life broadcast to millions and the odds are stacked even higher yet Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did it…sort of. What you have with these reality shows, whether it’s The Bachelor, Real World, or any of the countless others, is pseudo love jacked up for the cameras. In a short time Heidi and Spenser met, got to know each other, fell in love, and married, all while under the watchful eyes of producers, directors, and millions of viewers. Getting married just because of public pressure is never a good idea. In the public eye or not, I never advice clients to rush to marriage, but rather, get to know each other, nurture a loving relationship, and make certain they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Of course we have no way of knowing if this occurred with Heidi and Spencer, but given the ever-changing status of their relationship, one can surmise it didn’t. Post –reality TV brings real life and a whole different world than the staged one. Once the glitz and glamour of Hollywood fades and there are no fancy dinners and trips, staged dates, and admiration from fans, then potentially financial struggles may arise, communication issues set in, and intimacy problems could follow - all providing a hot bed for a strained relationship. Further, there's an exhibitionist element in people who go on reality shows - take that away and one might feel aimless, depressed, and without a strong sense of self. Perhaps Heidi’s multiple plastic surgeries and Spencer’s foray into crystals and guns offer a glimpse into this phenomenon. However you look at it, it’s not good for the relationship. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/06/are_reality_show_romances_doom_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/06/are_reality_show_romances_doom_1.php Heidi Montag Bachelor Bachelorette Heidi Montag Jake Pavelka Spencer Pratt The Hills Vienna Girardi Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:38:10 -0800 What are your thoughts on Al and Tipper Gore?

• We’d think after 40 years couples learn how to work out their differences. Many do and others learn to tolerate each other. Sometimes though issues fester for years and a threshold is eventually reached that leads to either reconciliation of separation.
• Stress of public life, $$, and fame may have taken a toll on the couple as they possibly lost site of what’s really important – but we can only speculate.
• Often people get comfortable being uncomfortable. Change is scary and people sometimes weigh the cost of leaving against the cost of staying. I see it all the time with my clients. People stay in careers they don’t like, relationships they don’t like, etc. Five years turns to 10, 20, and so on and so forth.
• It’s normal to grow apart. Not uncommon for people to re-evaluate life as they move through the decades and change course.
• There doesn’t seem to be anything scandalous about this. They may have simply grown apart. It's actually refreshing to hear of a high-powered couple that's splitting and not rocked by scandal. Why stay together if they’re miserable? It’s better to be happily single than miserably partnered. It’s admirable that they are able to split.
• Perhaps they stayed together for decades for the sake of public life. Good for their image.
• Sometimes high profile careers and a public life can serve as a buffer or distraction from issues. Not uncommon for me to see couples who are dealing with problems they had 20 years ago after a hiatus for 18 years while their child was growing up.

]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/06/after_40_years_together_al_tip.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/06/after_40_years_together_al_tip.php Al Gore Al Gore divorce separation Tipper Gore vice president Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:42:29 -0800 What's your take on the revelations by Jesse James about abuse? Why do celebrities often reveal this type of information following infidelity or other negative events? In no way whatsoever should Jesse’s admission of abuse be taken as an excuse for his infidelity. If his intention is to offer an explanation to gain public forgiveness then he’s way off. The psyche of the American public has become desensitized to such scandal and folks aren’t buying into the whole “I was abused as a child now please forgive me” prime time interview. It’s the Hollywood equivalent of pleading the insanity defense. People are forgiving and sympathetic, but can also see right through it. Think about it: in the past few months Jesse’s lost his wife, his reputation, and has been plagued by scandal. How can he not reflect on childhood issues that have only been camouflaged by his bad boy exterior up to this point? It’s a great opportunity for self-reflection and growth but it doesn't necessarily need to be done in a public forum.]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/06/is_jesse_james_playing_the_bla_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/06/is_jesse_james_playing_the_bla_1.php Jesse James abuse cheating child abuse confession Jesse James Sandra Bullock scandal Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:01:07 -0800 There have been reports of notable stars having financial worries. Nicolas Cage, Pamela Anderson, and Eve come to mind. Supposedly they all owe Uncle Sam big time. How might this impact them and their personal relationships? Couples should change their mindset and recognize it’s not 1950 – the paradigm has shifted. Problems in relationships are increasingly prevalent in this bad economy and I’m seeing them more and more in my practice. Hollywood is no exception. Couples who would ordinarily separate are now staying together because they either they can’t afford to move or they can't afford to hire a divorce attorney. Given this forced cohabitation they sometimes reconcile and actually work on improving their relationships but for others, it’s a recipe for disaster. It’s particularly problematic for celebrities and performers to handle financial problems when their public image comes into play. Maintaining the illusion that both members of the couple are hard-working and successful becomes difficult and issues of jealousy arise as one continues to thrive and the other falls. When one person feels the other isn’t pulling his/her weight, the impact on the relationship is profound. I hear frequently: “He’s not the man I thought he was” or “When I met her she was so ambitious.” Rarely is it lack of love that brings couples into therapy but rather unmet expectations. An unhealthy dynamic unfolds -- one person nags the other about finances rather than being supportive and encouraging, resulting in that person being seen as the pain-in-the butt mother or disciplinarian father which leads to serious trouble, especially in the bedroom. Another factor, particularly with male Hollywood stars is the high, if not even unreasonable, standard they might impose on themselves. Failure to land gigs can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The resulting wounded ego and be detrimental to the relationship. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/05/does_a_bad_bank_account_lead_t_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/05/does_a_bad_bank_account_lead_t_1.php Nicolas Cage Eve finances financial trouble issues Nicolas Cage Pamela Anderson problems relationships Mon, 17 May 2010 21:09:30 -0800 What’s going on lately with Hollywood couples splitting up? Last week alone it was Larry King and his wife and Mel Gibson and his girlfriend? Do you think the age gaps play a role in the demise of their relationships? Demi and Ashton and Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are proof–positive that relationships can indeed be healthy despite a significant age difference, however, recent Hollywood cases tell a much different story. Age quite possibly played a role in the break-up of Larry King and his wife Shawn Southwick. (But then again, given Larry’s track record in marriage other factors may be at play here too.) When there’s such a big age gap the couple may be prone to infidelity. Think about it: the older person feels insecure as his or her skin sags, wrinkles get deeper, and hair thins and grays. Not exactly the poster boy for a super-sex machine. With the age disparity are different drives. Clearly a 50-something has a much stronger libido than a 70-something. Additionally, growing up in different decades they might have vastly different tastes in music and culture. There’s a big difference between 60’s rock and 80’s pop. They’re also in different phases in their lives. The younger might be looking for new experiences and growing, while the elder might be looking to settle into the golden years and reflect on the past. Being in different phases can lead to different social groups and therein lay the potential for intimacy with others. I wouldn’t rule-out this phenomenon with the little league coach being the alleged other guy. Mel Gibson’s relationship with Oksana Grigorieva…well, that’s a different story. Given that they allegedly met while he was still married rendered this relationship doomed from the start. Affairs, while they might seem exciting, fun, and dangerously thrilling while they’re happening - long term they rarely convert to a healthy relationship. I’ve seen countless couples in therapy having significant problems in their relationship around issues of trust. The common thread: they met while the other person was in a relationship. The thinking is: “if he/she did it before, then it can happen again.” The rapid succession of events in Mel and Oksana’s life may also have contributed to the break up. Within a year they met, dated, got pregnant, and had a baby, all while maintaining their very public lives. It sounds to me like a fling that grew stale and begs the question: How connected could they ever really have been? Blending ideas about how to raise a child, cultural differences, a 15-year age gap, and a rapid-fire courtship in Hollywood – I would have been surprised if the relationship lasted much longer than it did. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/05/do_maydecember_romances_ever_w_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/05/do_maydecember_romances_ever_w_1.php Mel Gibson Ashton Kutcher Catherine Zeta-Jones Demi Moore Larry King Mel Gibson Michael Douglas Oksana Grigorieva Shawn Southwick Sun, 02 May 2010 21:02:16 -0800 With Tiger Woods returning to golf at the Masters this week, many are questioning if now is the right time for a comeback and wondering what Nike ad men were thinking with that commercial! Regarding Tiger’s return … Now is as good a time as any. Whether Tiger had waited six months more or not, there would still be those who criticize him and those who offer support. My feeling is these two factions will be split evenly down gender lines. Golf is Tiger’s job and livelihood. Several months out of the limelight are adequate for a celebrity who cheats to repent, rehab, and return. At this point Tiger needs to continue participating in therapy, involve his wife in the process, avoid the media circus, and be acutely aware that his every move will be scrutinized. That said, he may want to avoid texting while in public … Frankly, the public has grown numb, tired, and bored of all the news about infidelity, cheating, and lying. He’s fallen and now it’s time to get back up. America loves a Rocky story, so here we are. Stage is set. Dare I suggest that losing the Masters has humanized Tiger, exposed his vulnerability, and given him a real shot at a Hollywood comeback story? And now that much talked about Nike commercial -- distasteful, gloomy, morbid, depressing, exploitative of Tiger’s deceased father, masterful manipulation of material vis-a-vis modern technology, and a terrible attempt at trying to leverage support from viewers are just some of my initial thoughts. The affect – bewilderment. And certainly no one is running out and buying new sneakers after seeing it. The thinking on the part of Nike executives was for the ad to touch the soft spots of parent/child relationships: instilling values, teaching right from wrong, and passing along morals. Further, there’s something revered about a father / son relationship. Fathers are often seen as responsible for getting their son involved in sports so this brings Tiger’s life full circle at this fragile and pivotal time. Showing Tiger bonding with his kids on the golf course though might have been far more effective than this attempt at public redemption. ]]> http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/04/tiger_redux_1.php http://www.x17online.com/hollywood-breakdown/2010/04/tiger_redux_1.php Tiger Woods ad advertisement Augusta cheating Elin Nordegren golf Masters Nike scandal Tiger Woods Tue, 13 Apr 2010 21:41:42 -0800